She want’s a Death with Dignity and Grace, not kept alive with machines and tubes and wires hanging out of her, I respect and understand that, I wouldn’t want that either.
She wanted to die at home and I wanted that as well as I have always found a way to grant her wishes However I talked with her sister and brother about this and they brought up hospice care, at first I was against it as this is not what my wife wanted, but I thought about it and finally admitted to myself that I just can not look after my wife’s health needs at this point, so I asked them to come talk to the in hospital social worker about it with me.
So tonight my Beautiful Wife was moved to the Palliative Care unit , it’s like a Hospice center only in Hospital, she now has a very large private room, she has a flat screen tv with 600 channels , a stereo, phone sofa big comfy bed and a nice view, I am bringing her -her teddy bear favourite blanket some pictures and music tomorrow and on Sunday I will bring her Cat to visit .
She has not been at the hospital alone, for the last 2 nights my sister has stayed with her during the night so I could come home and look after our son Hammy and our animals, I have been there every day from 7 am until 9 or 10 pm , tonight my wife’s sister is with her, and tomorrow both her brother and sister will be there at night with her, then Monday night I will spend 24 hours there , I will have my friend Wayne and his family look after our son Hammy , Hammy can come home and look after the animals then go back to Wayne’s.
I am so heart broken and I am NOT alright, I grieve hard and know only sorrow now, my Wife is dying, She asked me why God did this to her, I told her that I believed that before she was born she was an Angel in Heaven, I told her I believe God gave her charge over a very special boy (her son) so she came to earth, was born and grew up and gave birth to this very special child, along the way she was to find me and teach me how to Love, how to Trust, to teach me Compassion and Kindness and above all teach me how to parent her very special child, she did all this and so much more, she also taught me how to laugh and enjoy the simple things in life, she taught me to gaze in wonder at the stars, she taught me to thank God every day for sending me an angel, she taught me how to believe in an unseen God with all my heart and soul , she did her job that God asked her to do and she did it very well, now her work is done and God wants his Angel home as he only takes the very Best.
I also reassured her that Hammy and I would be alright that we would live each day of our lives in her memory and honour her , I told her I would talk and pray to her always, that our love is so strong that even in Death can not stop that love that I will continue to love her right up to my own death and beyond, we WILL be together again for all Eternity just right now I can not join her no matter how much my heart aches to do so for now I have to pick up and finish raising our Son to be the man she always dreamed he’d be.
I am comforted in the knowledge that she feels no pain now as they keep her comfortable and I’m comforted to know that soon my Darling wife will once again be an ANGEL, my heart breaks but I know I can live on and raise our son and he will be a great man who will one day have a wife and oh how he will love and cherish her, he WILL have what I had and so much more.
I have to stop now but I thought I should let you all know what’s going on and how things are going, thank you all for letting me talk/write about this and thank you for all your kindness and thoughtful replies I do read them I just can’t respond to you all right now, everytime I try I just break down.
Butch
easy wood projects to build
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