So after the kidlet is tucked away for the night,the house work done, and having ran out of home repairs or DIY projects to do, I get to thinking, I think a lot about the 17 wonderful incredible years that I have spent with her , it’s a small comfort to me to think back on all the love, joy, and happiness that we have shared for so long.
I know that I am going to lose my wife, and it almost kills me to admit that fact, a big part of me wants to be like our son and go into complete and utter denial and believe that the chemo will cure her…. it won’t, I know this, but still I can not help but to look outside the medical professionals for help, any kind of help, even if it brings me false hope , I’ve started investing in holistics , not large sums of money, just $20 here and there, such as a bracelet made of hazelwood , it is supposed to draw out poisons from the body, and should be replaced every 6 months, I found a steady supply of B-17 (laetrile) they use that in Mexico on cancer patients, it’s not FDA approved here in Canada so my supplier gets them across the border for me,(I don’t ask how) .
As I said I spend my nights thinking, always about my wife, Tonight a thought occured to me that maybe just maybe a Native Shaman/Medicine man/woman may be able to help, how I don’t know,as I have never been to one before, so I asked my sister to ask around to help find one.
I did buy some sweet grass for prayer purposes and 2 mineral stones for her to hold/play with when she is idle, these stones are healing stones for lung ailments, I may very well be grasping at straws, but even though it is very selfish of me…..I am just not prepared to live my life without her at my side, yes I will have to do so, but dammit I just can’t lose my WIFE!!! I will carry on and raise our son to be the fine gentleman he is shaping up to be of course, but I will do it while heart broken .
I am not an overly religious person, more spiritual than anything,but I pray every night and day for my wife to be spared, I know many many people are praying for my wife and I sincerely appreciate it, as does my wife and our son.
Anyway I will end here for tonight, remember to express your love often, be kind to others and never take tomorrow for granted.
Butch
easy wood projects to build
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