I didn’t ask for this a brief journey through self discovery

I didn’t ask to be a single parent, I had always thought that we would be a 2 parent family, then my wife passed away and I was thrust onto the front lines of being a single parent, no manual, no guidance, no effen clue at all, I mean my wife was always there to help guide me in how to be a parent, she kept a cluttered but clean house, planned out meals a week in advance, new how to operate every single appliance large and small, knew what cleaner did what and what it was used for, she could budget so tight right down to the effen penny, she could stretch a dollar to make every penny of it count, she could make a school lunch in less than 3 minutes, and still have time to make sure my coffee was made just perfect….

I helped her, I pulled my weight and did my fair share, always with her guidance and help, everything ran like a well oiled machine and she was the only mechanic who knew how to keep it running so well.

Now she isn’t here to guide me or to help me, the whole machine is now a disorganized cluster f*ck! there is a lot of squeaky cogs in that machine she kept finely tuned, what took her an hour now takes me a few days, yes I keep the house nice, …. actually it IS nice (if I do say so myself) and it’s even de-cluttered ! as I said I am now on the front lines of being a single parent, waging war with time,knowledge (or lack thereof) , trying to keep a 13 year old human garburator fed and full, mending clothes , having to drag him along for buying new clothes (because I am too daft to know what size clothes he fits this week) , making lunches that he will eat, and doing every single thing that I used to do as a team with my wife….. alone.

I scour wordpress looking for single parent Blogs, (doesn’t matter if its a single mom or dad gay or straight) anything to glean a little knowledge in how the f*ck they do it and how is it they haven’t snapped and killed anyone yet! I learn tips and tricks for house cleaning, for fast easy meals…. how to work an effen crock pot and hey just a FYI here that I learned the hard way…. Metal doesn’t react well to Microwaves! but the light show is SPECTACULAR!!

Oh and another FYI Murphy Oil is for tables and wooden furniture do not and I repeat DO NOT use it as a linoleum floor polish!! it’s slicker than ice and doesn’t wash off easily… expect to use 2 bottles of Pine-Sol and a bottle of Dawn Dish soap to get that crap off the floor…. yeah that was 5 hours of floor scrubbing hell I can never get back!

I seriously question how single parents do it and survive, they do it year after year without complaint, I’ve only been at it going on 3 months and I’m already losing my shit!! on top of looking after the kidlet, the 4 cats and the dog, the house, the cars, the bills, the expenses, the unexpected expenses ( oh those are fun little shits….they always pop up when you’re broke!) shovelling snow, pumping out a flooded yard, thawing out frozen water hoses,general home repair (while praying nothing major craps out and needs replacing) , getting ready to fire up the home business again, working part time at the local bar, grocery shopping, clothes shopping, and about a half million things , every day all day 24/7/365 ….. and somewhere in there I am supposed to find me time? so I steal an hour here and there to goof off on the computer, visit blogs leave and reply to comments, squeeze in a blog post late in the evening while I wait for my meds to kick in, oh yes I have mental health issues on top of everything else to deal with…. my life is a real bed of effen roses!!

I haul my ass out of bed at 7 am every week day and end my night somewhere between 11 pm and 1 pm , and i generally do it out of love for my son Hammy, I get up and make sure he is fed and watered and off to school each day , and I do it with a smile on my face and love in my heart, I am proud of that boy, I truly am.

So I am getting a crash course on single parenting, it’s not fun or easy looking after every single thing on my own , well Hammy helps where and when he can, but you get the gist, but you know what?…. for all my whining here on this blog, I have big shoulders, I got this , I can do this, and I will do this, I do it all out of my Love for Hammy, and it teaches him that no matter what happens , life goes on, it also gives him some normalcy , it teaches him not to roll over and just give up or quit when things get rough, stuff he needs to know and the schools don’t teach.

So thank you for letting me rant like a lunatic , I feel better now, and know for certain that I can do this until the end of time if need be.

Remember folks: express your love often, never take tomorrow for granted, and be kind to others.

Butch
easy wood projects to build

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