My Darling Wife, I know it has only been a few days, but it seems like a life time for me, I miss you so much I wish you didn’t have to go. I won’t lie it has been a tough week so far but I will manage, it is said that God never gives you more than you can handle, well Darling I beg to differ to be honest I have gone well beyond my breaking point, I am broken, so broken, this is a pain that consumes me, I hurt so bad now.
I promised you that I would be strong for our son and Darling, I shall keep that promise don’t you worry things will be okay.
I’ve been cleaning our house a lot these last few days and I find little things that once belonged to you here and there, though my heart breaks I stop and smile when I find something of yours.
Hammy went back to school today, he is alright but I don’t think this has fully hit him yet, but it shall next Saturday at your service, don’t worry Hon, I will carry Hammy and his grief until he heals, you taught me how to parent well so don’t you worry , I got this.
I wrote a little something for your service to help our friends and family better understand what a Beautiful person you were, if you don’t mind I’d like to post it here for people around the world to read so that they may also know what a Beautiful person you were. So here it is :
" Pauline was always about Family, she brought Families together, she always wanted any disagreements to stop and for everyone to just love each other, she understood the miles between each of us and would always tell those who wanted to visit but couldn’t, it’s okay, I understand, Your Family must always come first, and she sincerely meant that with all her heart.
Pauline was the foundation of our own little Family, she taught me about Love, to Love and be Loved, she also brought me closer to God, she taught me how to parent with a gentle hand and a loving heart,she taught me to find so much joy and happiness in the simple things in life, she was such a Great Mother, her gift and legacy to the world is J******(Hammy).
Pauline was so much more than a Daughter,a Sister,a Mother, a Wife, she was also my Best Friend and Soul Mate, and I know she is smiling down upon us now and loving each and everyone from Heaven."
I hope you like that Darling? Does it do you justice? It is so hard to define you in so few words, sadly words are not enough to express who you were or the person you were, no one can truly know except for you and I, I also promised you that I would live each day in your honour, and Darling, I surely will.
The little church is going to be packed to the rafters, I think you’d like the service that is planned for you, I swear the entire village is going to be there, all your family and mine as well, your friend David that you grew up with is a pastor and is going to do your service, I have ordered 13 white Roses for you from Hammy, one for each year of his life, and 18 red Roses , one for each year that we were married.
I hope you enjoy the service, it’s a celebration of your life, we have the town hall for a tea and lunch at the end of the service, I ordered a Black Forest Cake , your favorite, and I just had to order butter tarts for me, there will be wild game meats as well as domestic, perhaps some of the city folks will try a few pieces.
The village has been so kind to Hammy and I, the freezer is full of foods that have been dropped off, I really wish I had known that they would do that for us as I had just finished grocery shopping the previous day. I don’t have much more room in the fridge or freezers now.
They are also doing another fund raiser and the donations keep pouring in so don’t you worry everything will be alright. The village is looking out for Hammy and I.
I have decide that Hammy and I shall stay out here, we love the village as much as you did, this little house of ours has a lot of good memories, I want to keep the house and those memories so you need not worry about that either.
They say it gets easier over time, but Darling the more time that passes, the more I miss you, I don’t think that time will make it easier for me, but don’t you worry, I shall do everything that I promised and I know that we will meet again. I am 47 now, so at most another 30 years until you and I are together in Heaven for all Eternity, those 30 years will be long for me, but for you they shall just be a moment in time.
I have much work to do Darling, I have to finish raising our son, be there when he marries, and spoil our future grand children, my work won’t be done until those grand children know all about you and how Beautiful you are. I am confident that I can do the task you charged me with, you gave me that confidence and I thank you.
I know you had wanted me to go on and find love again after you are gone, but Darling I just can’t do that, I could never love and devote my life to anyone as I have with you, and that would be very unfair to them, you were my soul mate, there can never be another, please understand why I choose to remain single til my time has come, my love for you shall never weaken, it shall only grow stronger for you as each year passes by, each year that passes brings me one step closer to you, and that comforts me.
Don’t worry Darling, I haven’t turned my back to God either, I might be upset at him for doing this to you, but I also understand that he will have you guide me all the days of my life, and when I pray to him he shall send you to answer, you rest now Darling, your work here is done and you did a wonderful job, I shall see you again and my heart will again rejoice, until then Darling I ask you watch over Hammy and help me to guide him down the right path.
Darling, I have to go now, I don’t want to, I could talk to you for eternity, but I have to go on living so I will stop here for now, I will talk to you again shortly, I love you so much and I miss you.
Love always and forever
L.
(Butch)
easy wood projects to build
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