So my wife went into the hospital wednesday, thursday they put the picc in her arm and did a battery of tests as well as a ct scan, the cancer has spread , she has a rare cancer called Synovial Sarcoma, its a hyper aggressive cancer that usually starts in the arms or legs rarely if ever does it start in an organ, only with my wife, that is exactly where it started, in her lungs.
she is on her second round of chemo , they did one round last night ,and will get another round tomorrow, they have to go at this cancer very aggressively, they cant cure her, only delay the final outcome, her prognosis is 3 months or less without treatment, 6 months to 1 year maybe a bit more with chemo.
the doctor said they are hopeful, my wife wants to live, she is fighting the cancer with everything she has, our 12 year old son is a basket case and I am not far behind, I try and be strong and not cry in front of him or her, but its so damn hard, today I had to spoon feed my wife apple sauce, that alone nearly did me in, she later upchucked it.
Today I asked my wife to marry me all over again, renew our vows, she said yes, I broke down and had to leave the room momentarily.
I have had 17 incredible amazing years with her and have not 1 single regret, she has been a true blessing in my life, knowing that soon I will be burying her is tearing me apart, when I look at our son I see an awful lot of my wife in him, he is a spitting image of her and his personality is as strong and vibrant as hers.
I love her with all my heart and soul, I want anyone who reads this blog to know and understand that words can not covey how deeply I love her and how devoted I am, have been, and always will be to her, there will NEVER be another person in my life other than our son.
my heart is broken, there is nothing left for me here in this world except our son, my only comfort is knowing that when our son is an adult and out making his own way in life starting his own family, I will then go to be with my wife for all eternity, that is my only comfort.
thats all I have to say right now
hug your partner tight and tell them how much you love them daily
Butch
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