Selasa, 05 April 2016


There was a time in the not too distant past when you didn’t need a passport to get into the USA from Canada, back when your drivers licence or birth certificate was more than enough, man I used to be in the USA every other weekend , my friends and I would load up the car and head across the border simply to have coffee in Billings Montana, sometimes Butte if we wanted a change of pace.

Then 9/11 happened and everyone lost their freakin’ minds and got all Paranoid and demanded that Canadians require passports to enter the USA (in the name of security) …( hog wash , it was just the government playing on peoples fears to take away some of their rights in the name of home security) … ah well, I mean come on , I am Canadian… what possible threat does a Canadian pose to an American?? … you people carry friggin guns !! what are we gonna do?? poke you with a sharp pointy stick? all the while saying sorry as we do so?? … maybe you fear that we will rise up and catapult 1971 ford pinto’s across the border, lob them at your major cities?? Really… think about it, what possible threat does a Canadian pose to the USA?? …. I know the true reason why you all made us have to get Passports to enter your country and it has Nothing to do with home security…. you all are just f*cking with us!!, getting even for us sending you Shania Twain, Celine Dion,Drake and Justin Bieber… you’re all pissed off for that, and that is understandable, I mean jesus we couldn’t even handle Celine and Justin ah well… here’s the deal, you keep making us get passports to visit your country, and we will keep sending you God Awful singers who make your ears bleed when they are on the radio… want the pain to stop? then let us cross the border (without getting shot) sans passport… until then we are raising another crop of Biebers… only twice as whiney, twice as stupid and twice as annoying…. expect the first wave of Bieber 2.0’s sometime in the spring 2017 ( we have to wait til they hit Puberty so they will be hormonally fuelled angst ridden whiny little pricks before we unleash them on the American public) …. sorry but this whole draconian passport kerfluffle has forced us to take drastic measures…. only you have the solution, it is now out of our hands…… sorry about that eh !

So anyway… I am in the midst of applying for Passports for Hammy and I, seriously I wasn’t going to bother , but I got an email from my friend Gabriel today ( the young lad from Sierra Leone that I wrote about some time ago) anyway, he is going to be attending an American University next year, Arizona I believe, so he is applying for his Visa now (because it takes so long to acquire ) , we really want to meet , we have been friends and penpals for the longest time ( a couple years) , we agreed that we would like to meet in person and solidify our friendship, Arizona really isn’t all that far from where I live, actually it’s really close, if I left here at 6 am I could be in Arizona by 4 or 5 pm that same day , I don’t know what city yet, but compared to our provinces… Arizona isn’t that big so regardless of where he goes , we could be there in a day or two. I am rather excited at the prospect of seeing him and introducing Hammy to him, Gabriel has been a good friend, even though he is from a dirt poor almost 3rd world country , he has never once asked for anything except for prayers when the Ebola broke out, we prayed that he and his Mom and Sister would be safe, we always exchange small gifts, and photos , actually he is the only person online who actually knows what I look like * devious grin* and I pretty much aim to keep it that way, not because I am shy, or look like I fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, nor is it because I am breathtakingly handsome ( I am none of that)… I am just me, your average putz, you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all kinda person, … I just like to remain a mystery that’s all, if you ask for pictures, you will get pictures of me hiding behind my cat Shmoo … I like blending in and being anonymous , of course all you need to do to pick me out of a crowd is look at the tattoos on my arm , if you remember those from the pictures I posted, then you would instantly know who I am and what I look like if I were standing next to you at a shopping mall or other public venue.

Gabby sent me some beach nuts ( they grow wild over there) and is a food staple there, I found them to be quite bitter and not something I’d care to eat on a regular basis, I in turn send him chocolate bars and Kinder eggs, he is quite addicted to our chocolate, chocolates are a treat for him, you and I can walk into any store and think nothing of dropping a few coins or a dollar on a chocolate bar…. he can not, a chocolate bar is a luxury to him and he can ill afford to be buying chocolates, so I send them to him, it takes him up to 3 months to receive my letters and packages , the mail over there is not that great, I have to send a couple extra chocolate bars in his packages as they are routinely opened by “inspectors” over there , the extra chocolate bars are a bribe to them to make sure he gets his package and chocolate bars … I send Gabriel 6 chocolate bars at a time in a package, I add another 4 bound with an elastic band, with a note attached to them, “To the Post Master/Inspector , please enjoy” , Gabriel always gets his 6 chocolate bars and letter .

So that’s about all I have to say for now, Remember folks: express your love often,never take tomorrow for granted,and be kind to others.

Butch
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